Who are you looking for? Arrgh! Another pre-determined format. Yeah, it’s got good sympathy points there but they might catch on to that spousal murder rap! No, misery loves company, just use “Divorced” like everyone else. Let them find that nightmare out later! Watch out for “Widowed” though. Who made these pre-determined choices for us? Ok, but don’t go with “Not Married” they’ll think you are a total loser that isn’t mature. I don’t even see “Angry and vindictive” or “Married and completely ignored” on there. “Whacking off while eating a Swanson’s manly man dinner and watching porn” is somehow not on their list. What is your relationship status? Oh, this is a tough one. Hmmm, now it’s asking us to fill out stuff… Gentlemen, might I suggest FORMER-LOSER-ATHLETE-TURNED-BEERGUT-UGLY-TEMPERMENTAL-TERROR? Yeah, you’re right, it’s too long it’ll never fit in the field they provide. That leaves you with one choice: honesty.

Of course, some 7 year old hacker has written a program to use up every conceivable good one known to mankind. Ok, first you have to make up some clever catchy username.

Hey, I know, let’s build a profile together? How fun will that be?